Hey, Oprah, It's me. Merlotmom. I'm over here.
I'm a bad mom blogger.
I'm a bad mom.
I'm a bad wife.
You see, as much as these women were on the show to let us all know that in some ways "we all suck", that none of us are fairy-tale moms, that few of us are horny for our husbands, and that THAT IS ALL OKAY, just the fact that these women were on there, that they had published a book, or were starring on a tv show, or were making oodles of money with their blog (Hey, Dooce!), or just looked so damn pretty on tv!, MADE ME FEEL WORSE.
Why can't I focus on something long enough to be Oprah-worthy? Why do I feel like I work so hard, am so tired all the time, but never actually succeed to the point where anyone else would notice?
I seem to have developed adult-onset ADD. I can't focus on anything long enough to make significant strides. I dabble in my blog, I write fiction but I don't submit it for publication, I don't like lunching with the girls, and I am a fair-weather FaceBooker and Twitterer. Aaargh.
I don't usually watch Oprah during the day cuz I don't have time but it's spring break and I was supposed to be watching the kids swimming in the pool, but I got caught up in Oprah instead cuz she was talking to my people, and see, I do suck as a mom cuz someone could have drowned while I had my feet up, munched on sugar snap peas (lunch) and listened to my mommy peers, dammit!
But the episode did give me a swift kick in the ass, so here I am, merlotmom, fickle mom blogger, writer of run-on sentences extraordinaire, danger to everyone's children, to present some KICK ASS GRATITUDE FOR THIS WEEK. (did you see that coming??)
- I am grateful that my husband is having surgery on Thursday and that he is traveling for business right after so that I don't have to play nursemaid for long. (Suck it judge and juries, I said I was a bad wife, sheesh!)
- I am grateful that it is Spring Break and the weather is nice and I don't have to carpool anyone anywhere.
- I am grateful there's no homework for a week. Yeah!
- I am grateful someone else is doing Passover Seder. (Except for the soup cuz no one beats my soup.)
- I am grateful for our trip to Disneyland tomorrow cuz we're going with a friend who got us all VIP passes and there will be no long-ass waiting in lines for us. Yeah, baby!
Or how bad do you suck?
Whichever floats to the top my friends...
(and no, I am not drinking in the afternoon, not yet, anyway...)